Confessions Of A Designer Denim Snob

I try my best to be a good shopper. I don’t buy expensive shoes (heels aren’t my thing and pricey flats in Manhattan make no sense), I’m a huge proponent of wearing a uniform (post on that to come!), and feel strongly that a good, simple white t-shirt or blouse can get you through anything. But I can’t seem to spend less than $175 on jeans.

I’ve tried. I’ve tried every recommendation from every body type and bank account. I ordered a pair of Cheap Mondays before they were sold in Urban Outfitters, but found them too skinny for a person of my hip measurements. I went to Uniqlo and ransacked their jean shelves, but felt that none of the selection had the right give-to-grip ratio. I’ve tried H&M, Gap’s “Premium Denim”, and even bought a pair of J. Brand skinnys on Gilt Groupe but upon reception realized that they were on sale for a reason.

I live in jeans and consider several of them a closet staple. Every girl needs a pair of good boot-cuts, two sets of dark skinnys (blue and black, of course), and white ones for summer — at the bare minimum. So it frustrates me that I consider $225 a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. What is it about twill trousers that makes me drop a ludicrous amount of cash on the perfect fit?

Well, for starters, it’s just that: the perfect fit. Branded denim lines have the financials to make a cut and style for several different body types — though there’s certainly an argument for how many other body types they’re excluding — which means I can find a pair that have a long enough inseam for my legs and perfectly placed pockets so as to minimize my butt.

And then there’s the material. Some people live by stretch, some people die by it. I’m neither. I like enough stretch that the jeans stay fitted, but enough structure to hold my jiggly bits in. And that’s not even taking into account the artful (and expensive) whiskering that serves the dual purpose of saving me the effort of wearing them in and hiding some of the less-flattering lines of my figure.

And so, no matter how many fashionistas tell me that Gap is simply the best, or that Forever 21’s $20 pair work miracles, I’ll continue to spend an omakase dinner’s worth of money on a pair of pants that were designed for mechanics.

Feel free to convince me otherwise in the comments.

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