Ladies: Magical Legwear Will Not Help You Lose Weight

A few months ago, we stumbled upon some weight-loss-inducing tights that made our heads explode. Today, The Hairpin brings us a similarly head-exploding productTurbocell Leggings, the “bulge-busting bottoms.”

Said leggings are available at Bliss, and they sound sufficiently awful. The product description reads:

When worn 8 hours a day for 8 weeks, they’ve been shown to decimate dimples by 19.05%* and melt off up to 2” from thighs, hips and buttocks via a patented 3-layer fabric: the elasticized outer layer delivers continuous micro-massage action, the 100% natural latex middle layer ups body temperature and circulation to promote fluid drainage (talk about ‘hot’ pants), and the 100% hypo-allergenic ribbed cotton inner layer wicks moisture and enhances the massaging action—all while shaping your silhouette. But don’t be fooled by all those layers; these leggings don’t feel tight or hot (though they’re likely to make you look seriously ‘smokin’).

Allow us to explain why this is fully and totally ridiculous.

1. You have to wear these things eight hours a day…for nearly two months!

2. There is no way they don’t feel excessively tight and/or hot.

3. You’re not really going to lose weight, inches or cellulite. You just lose water weight because you’re sweating profusely for two months, and you lose inches from all the tightness, and OMG this sounds awful.

Want legwear that actually makes you look better? First, resolve to not ever wear leggings (or tights!) as pants. Then put your $149 (yes, these babies retail for $149) towards a pair of J Brand 910 skinny jeans. Your butt will look great, you won’t want to kill yourself from all the discomfort and we won’t judge you for being a total idiot.

[via The Hairpin]

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