January Jones Dragged Her Bangs Through Motor Oil and We Don’t Know Why

What is GOING ON?

January

In this dress, January Jones looks like a Christmas ornament in a good way. Let’s work from the bottom up. The voluminous skirt gives you a window to her ballet heels that we never want to unsee. The trick of it is that it’s just costumey enough and this stitched bodice fits her like a dream. She is a gift so that’s fitting and WTF. Her hair is inexplicably weird tonight. January Jones’s people need to check Twitter and pull Pete Campbell’s ligament out of his dispensable body to use as a makeshift headband. It looks like the iconic hair jiz gel scene from Something About Mary has taken her head hostage. What’s happening up there with her fringe? If she were sweating because she had to gun down some annoying neighbor’s birds while wearing a negligee and chain smoking, we’d understand. If there were a far-traveling squirt of mayo earlier when she reportedly ate subs, we’d get it. We will love you forever January. No one has done a better pregnancy scene than you. But we want to know, what is GOING ON?

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