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WATCH: This Pageant Toddler Has Over 100 Outfits, Loves Making Fart Noises
It’s moments like these that make us completely forget that TLC actually stands for “The Learning Channel”.
WATCH: Toddler Wears Fake Breasts, Butt Pads To Play Dolly Parton
If you thought a three year old in a Madonna-style cone bra was bad, just wait until you see the Dolly Parton costume — complete with butt and breast “enhancements” — one mother made her daughter wear on last night’s episode of Toddlers & Tiaras.
WATCH: Pageant Mom Forces Her Kids To Bleach Their Teeth
Oh, Toddlers and Tiaras. Thank you for being a veritable goldmine of information on how not to raise well-adjusted, self confident children. In a new episode, a woman who we can only describe as a step down from Botox Mom explains that she bleaches her children’s teeth every week, no matter how much they protest, even when they’re not about to compete.
The 11 Most Insanely Expensive Things To Buy A Child
Some may say that if a baby gets the best of everything right from the beginning, uses a Cartier love bracelet as a teething ring and an Alfa-Romeo as a sandbox, they will have nothing to look forward to. I say pish-posh, with emphasis on posh. If you can swing it, your little Bonpoint Baby will grow up with a sincere and sophisticated appreciation for the finer things in life. Or turn on you completely, and refuse to wear anything but Keds, ripoff jean shorts and grungy band tees — and not the $400 ironic kind from Saks. Here some of the more luxe items available to purchase for the youngest subset of the population — and those who will be most likely to spit on your gift, outgrow it, and otherwise generally unappreciate it.
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