Back in the good old days there were only a handful of TV shows to watch and none of them involved drunk women ripping each other’s hair out, children wearing tiaras, or insane plastic surgery. Flash forward to 2014 and there are about 350 scripted TV shows on air. That number skyrockets when you include reality television. There’s no way that one human can know every single program that’s available. So I flipped through my TV Guide and picked out the craziest, weirdest shows for your viewing pleasure.
1. South Beach Tow
Yep, there’s an actual show about a towing business. According to the truTV website, you can look forward to “face-offs and family squabbles as the Ashenoff family and their stable of larger-than-life drivers pound the city streets and deal with South Beach’s craziest characters, all in the name of making a buck!” How kind of them to compare their employees to horses in a stable!
Before you run off to watch a full episode — which you can do on Youtube — here’s the best thing that has ever happened on the show:
2. Extreme Guide to Parenting
I was hoping that this show centered around families who got up and did Tough Mudders togther before school but, unfortunately, it’s way creepier than that. Oh, you want an example? Maybe a grandma who dresses exactly like her baby grandaughter will do the trick:
3. Snack Off
Have you ever been stuck in your apartment with only Twinkies, a potato, and some jello? Being a normal human being, you’d probably eat these items separately. But not on Snack Off! If you’re prone to the munchies, this show is pretty much your wet dream:
4. Virgin Territory
American society tends to treat virgins like lepers and thus Virgin Territory seems insanely interesting. The show stars a group of twentysomethings whose cherries are still fully intact. Some of the subjects are dying to do the deed while others are waiting until marriage. Of course MTV only selected cool virgins who are down to have their steamy makeout sessions filmed. Sure, the show feel a little bit creepy but hey, it’s reality TV. It’s not enough to stop me from watching every episode of the season so far:
5. Bet on Your Baby
You know what TV needs? More people who have a tenuous hold on their primary language. The Bachelor just isn’t cutting it for me anymore. The solution? Parents using their babies as dual attention magnets and game show contestants. What toy will the baby take out of the toy chest? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.